Lately I have been slightly lost in time. I’ve been remembering the past and dreaming about the future. There have been times in my life where I think I’ve actually experienced “visions” (sounds creepy, I know, but I mean it in the most normal way possible). When I first became a Creative Memories Consultant and started developing talks about family photographs, I was stopped dead in my tracks when I saw a photograph of my grandparents when they were first married. The picture was taken in a logging camp in northern Idaho, where they lived when they were first married. My grandmother was wearing a HALTER TOP!
I don’t need to tell you that I had NEVER imagined my grandmother in a halter top. To me, she was always “Grandma.” She was always old, walked with a painful limp, seemed to be ill frequently, was a fabulous cook, and had the beautiful gift of hospitality. She loved me unconditionally and I loved her very much. But this picture opened up a whole new world of Blanche Bertholf to me. I began to think about her as a WOMAN instead of a grandmother.
Grandma sang soprano, was a church bookkeeper, hosted Sunday Schools in her home, put on fancy dinners and events for young people, didn’t have the modern conveniences until late in life, recycled-repurposed-reused, loved cookies and ice cream, was always kind to animals, and was a gamer before gaming was cool. She was once young, beautiful, vibrant, healthy and passionate about her man! What a woman!
I had a similar revelation when I realized my mother was a person … a woman and not just a mother. Years ago when I was going through some counseling and learning to move on from a difficult childhood, the counselor helped me realize that I could look back at my childhood from an adult perspective and see it for what it really was. I could also look at my mother in this way, realizing that she made the best choices she could in the times she lived in. She is a whiz at English and grammar and punctuation, is a very talented and innovative musician, has a strong administrative ability, loves the computer and looks younger than she is. What a woman!
The other day my married daughter was over visiting and we talked until late. About halfway through our conversation I was absolutely stopped dead in my tracks again. Our topics of conversation were no longer about simple girlie things as in the past. We talked about career choices and children and finances and friends going through marriage struggles. Now we were talking about adult things … woman to woman. My DAUGHTER was now a woman! And what a woman she is! She is a fabulous photographer, talented musician, is confident and strong, accepts people as they are and gives great advice.
So I’ve been rather floating between the generations of late, enjoying the memories of my mother and her mother and feeling grateful for the things from them that make me who I am. And also cherishing my own adult daughter, feeling pride in who she has become and knowing that she carries pieces of me in her that make her who she is. I am thankful for this “timeline”. Grandma, mOm, Abbey and I are all part of the ages, after all. We are all passing on our faith, influence, character traits, values … our legacy. So far, I’m pleased with mine.
What are you leaving to the next generation?
6 thoughts on “Somewhere in Time …”
Lovely piece! Sometimes we forget that our mothers and grandmothers were women before we ever came along.
I have a picture of my grandparents taken just after they got married during their lunch hour from their jobs at a hospital. When they returned to work after the ceremony and the head nurse found out, she tore up my grandma’s application to nursing school.
My husband and I have built a spiritual heritage for our grandchildren. And I’m passing on a love of books.
Thanks for sharing,
Please pass the tissues!!!
Beautifully written, Candy! I too was shocked to see my grandmother as a High School girl, wearing short shorts to play softball. I had never pictured her in a way other that my grandma!
Thanks for sharing your heart!
I use creative memories too
That is good news! It’s part of our legacy.
What a beautiful piece!!! And where in the world did you find that picture? I have never seen it. I can’t wait to show it to Kirby.
It is difficult to ever imagine people who have always been older than us and very specific in their role in our lives as young and in love, etc.
Keep writing! I’m enchanted.
Shirley, I believe the picture is in our heritage album. It just struck me when I saw it. Thank you for your encouragement. I am really loving this blogging. I love that it’s keeping us in touch! I enjoy your blog as well. Love you.