I love this article by Barbara Rainey on Family Life Today! (I would copy it here but don’t want to violate copyright laws. So please follow the link to read the article.) I get a daily email about marriage from Family Life and they are very encouraging.
My ears are burning from listening to women talk about their husbands and families. Since when is it all about the children? I was taught that a married woman’s priorities should be 1-2-3 God, husband and then children. Most Christian women will say they believe this but their lives tell a different story.
When we first fall in love and marry, it’s all about our man. Vows, dreams, spending time, conversation, being close … we start building a life together. Then children come along. So often I watch women allow their children to consume their identities. They function in mommy mode and forget about wife mode. And they expect their husbands to understand and be satisfied with the arrangement. No babysitters because something might happen, calling home during a night out to check on things, no overnights away, treating their husbands like babysitters instead of parents, endless children’s activities without scheduled “couple” time, etc. Over time, these things take a toll and can kill a marriage. It’s called neglect.
Our children need to see us loving each other in tangible ways. They need to watch a good marriage being modeled for them. Our sons and daughters learn how to treat their future spouses by watching how we do it. And, let’s face it, our kids need a break from us, too! The purpose of parenting is to teach and train them to become independent adults. This doesn’t start when they graduate from high school. It’s dozens of daily decisions and lettings go.
Save some of your energy for your husband; he is your number two priority. He can make you feel beautiful and sexy. He can make you feel safe and secure. He can make you feel cherished and adored. And he wants to if you can spare the time. Treated with respect and care, he will do all these things for you. Your children cannot. When they are grown and gone, it will be the two of you again. Having a healthy marriage when the empty nest comes takes intentional nurturing.
So our todays reflect what our tomorrows will be. Today does matter. Love on your man!