Serving to Honor My Man


Candy blogs: I hate doing laundry. There’s a load in right now and I’ll probably let the buzzer go off the maximun number of times and forget about it until I’m looking for a clean blouse. So when I finally do the laundry, I hate little irritants during the process … like shirts that are inside out. My beloved husband always takes his shirt off at night in a way that leaves them inside out. The one final straw in the painful laundry process is to have to pull them all right side out as I’m folding them to put them away. Gurrrr

As I pondered this recently, murmuring (a mumbled or private expression of discontent) to myself about my thoughtless husband, I heard the Spirit say quietly … serve to honor him.

My husband has loved me since high school. And, boy, a lot has changed since 1977! In the beginning of our marriage, his expectations were much different. But over the years he has come to accept me for who I am. He doesn’t ask for much. I always tell women that men are simple creatures who are made happy by having full stomachs and clean underwear. In return, he is thoughtful in countless ways.

And yet these are the two areas that I have complained about and struggled against most over the years. I’ve never enjoyed cooking but always cooked as long as we had kids at home. When our daughter left for college I made a deal with Scott that I’d be cooking a lot less. He hesitantly complied and has stood by his end of the deal. And he doesn’t complain about the laundry. He only timidly asks if I’m out of underwear yet.

In spite of my distaste for cooking and laundry, he has always been a thoughtful husband. He hasn’t demanded perfection. He always asks if he can bring me anything before leaving the kitchen. I have to remind myself to do that. He has made hundreds of treat runs. I will seldom leave the house after I’ve settled in for the evening. He keeps our computers and printers up and running even though he’s been doing that all day at work. I believe if you turn it on, it should work. And if it doesn’t, make it so. He is the official volunteer vacuumer. He puts gas in my car. He happily thanks me for every cup of coffee and meal I serve him. He hangs up his towels after a shower and carries my dishes to the kitchen. He knows I don’t like mayo or tomatoes on a sandwich and orders them that way for me. He takes control and offers comfort and strength when he sees me faltering. He gives me a realistic perspective when I’m too emotional. He constantly tells me he loves me. He holds me in his arms at night. He is a generous lover. I could literally go on and on with this list of thoughtful, loving actions toward me.

The list makes me ashamed of my trivial mumuring about cooking and laundry. Is it really too much to ask to fuss with a few shirts now and then? Am I really that much of a “princess”?

“It is absolutely clear that God has called you to a free life. Just make sure that you don’t use this freedom as an excuse to do whatever you want to do and destroy your freedom. Rather, use your freedom to serve one another in love; that’s how freedom grows. For everything we know about God’s Word is summed up in a single sentence: Love others as you love yourself. That’s an act of true freedom. If you bite and ravage each other, watch out—in no time at all you will be annihilating each other, and where will your precious freedom be then?” Galatians 5:13-15

Serving my husband honors him for who is he in my life. Serving him doesn’t inhibit my freedom as a wife or as a woman … it expands it! The thoughtfulness of my husband makes me want to serve him. My serving him makes him want want to be thoughtful of me. We both feel loved and cherished. I have tears and goose bumps!

You probably mumur over different subjects than cooking and laundry (excuse me while I put a load in the dryer and start a new load in the washer …). But whatever they are, I encourage you to take some time to get perspective on what is reasonable and what you’re being a princess over. None of us live in a fairy tale. Let’s find and be grateful for the ways our husbands bless us. We chose them, after all. There is honor in serving.

For those reading from somewhere else:

Published by Candy Troutman

I offer services in the areas of public speaking, personal finance coaching, social media management, content creation/copywriting, personal & faith-based mentoring & small business coaching.

9 thoughts on “Serving to Honor My Man

  1. Clutter…

    That’s my main “grumble” as it pertains to my adoring and loving husband. Honestly, I have absolutely nothing (and I mean NOTHING) to complain about; just ask anyone who knows us personally and who has watched my husband love me over the years. They are quick to remind me about how spoiled I am. But every now and again, when my reserves are low, I find it easier to blame him for my discontent rather than looking inward, or better still, just keeping my mouth shut and realizing that human nature promotes irritability! Some issues aren’t worth the fret; in fact, most of them aren’t.

    Even inside-out laundry. FYI… I don’t mind the laundry doing and folding. It’s just the putting away that nearly sends me over the edge. FYI part two… I hate to cook. Currently taking cooking classes at my church, but it’s not helping. Maybe a bigger kitchen in our new parsonage will bring some enthusiasm to the process, but I’m not holding out a lot of hope!

    Thanks for stopping by today. Look forward to getting to know you more as time allows.



  2. You inspired me today Candy. I took that verse as just for me (as well as the one Sheila posted above). I am so grateful for so many gifted, godly women in my life to challenge me to be better. And you do it in such fun ways! I enjoy hearing your stories and your applications to our lives… and you are always right on. Love it and you!


    1. Renee ~ I couldn’t agree more that we need one another to keep us moving forward. None of us can do it alone. You are such a wonderful new friend! I look forward to moving our friendship forward, too.

      Brian has been on my heart since reading about his struggles in Peru. Your heart must be heavy for him. Praying for both of you.

      Candy Troutman Inspirational Speaker Boise, Idaho 208.850.2453 J esus O ffers Y ou … J.O.Y.

      Catch me on Facebook! Username: Candy Floyd Troutman —– Original Message —–


  3. AMEN and AMEN!!!

    A couple of years ago, while reading a book about being a good wife, I realized that honoring and serving Duane was an act of worship to God.

    Romans 12:1 states, “Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship.”

    The Message states that same verse this way, and it was so eye-opening to me:

    Romans 12:1-2—“So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.”

    Thanks Candy for bringing this subject up today. I needed that reminder! 🙂


    1. Sheila ~

      Thank you for sharing the wonderful verses. They remind me that by offering ourselves wholly, our everyday, mundane activities are given purpose and meaning. God notices. And our husbands are at the center. It takes time to learn to be a good wife; you give us many insights and much inspiration.

      Candy Troutman Inspirational Speaker Boise, Idaho 208.850.2453 J esus O ffers Y ou … J.O.Y.

      Catch me on Facebook! Username: Candy Floyd Troutman —– Original Message —–


    1. Love those hugs, Lynn! I am so honored that you stopped by my blog. Umm, yep, I still think you should consider becoming a blogger. You have so much beautiful wisdom to share! Loves!

      Candy Troutman Inspirational Speaker Boise, Idaho 208.850.2453 J esus O ffers Y ou … J.O.Y.

      Catch me on Facebook! Username: Candy Floyd Troutman —– Original Message —–


  4. Excellent post, Cathy. I do have my own little set of irritants, and I have to remind myself that if that is the worst I have to deal with as far as faults, go, I am indeed fortunate. And reminding myself of his good points and the many ways he serves, like your husband, makes me ashamed for getting so steamed.


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