We Are Who We Hang With

Candy blogs:I am me, of course, but I am made up of the influence of people I have spent time with throughout my life. I love to turn back the pages of time and browse through the faces of dear friends and family who have journeyed with me. Each of them was and is a unique kind of relationship, bringing just what I need at the right time.

♥ I hang my towels a certain way because I admired the way my aunt, Shirley, hung hers.
♥ I make my award-winning chili based on the way a friend from long ago, Callie, made hers.
♥ I make beds the way my Grandma Blanche taught me … right side to right side so when you make the bed and turn the edge down over the blanket, the “right” side of the edge shows. And when you turn back the sheets at night both “right” sides show.
♥ I am always aware of my countenance, the impression my facial expression gives, because of how taken I always was with the beautiful countenance of my aunt, Bonnie.
♥ I make sandwiches like my mom did, with the filling all the way to the edges of the bread so you can get everything in the sandwich with every bite.
♥ I take pictures differently because of the things my photographer daughter, Abbey, has taught me.
♥ I added lamps to bedrooms long ago because I loved the atmosphere they created when I visited in my mother in law, Patty’s, home.
♥ when I was first married I didn’t know how to make gravy. But when I visualized my mother making gravy and followed those steps, it came out perfectly.

This list is only the beginning of the things I have taken from dear people over my lifetime. We all have a list like this. We women are such relational beings. We define ourselves by our relationships. We need each other. Who is making this faith journey with you? Are you paying attention?

Listening friends … we all need someone who will just listen with a merciful heart when we need to blow off steam.

Truthful friends … our truth-telling friends keep us authentic and accountable. “Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates correction is stupid.” Proverbs 12:1

Confidante friends … so welcome when we have a deep need. They make us grateful for their trustworthiness and support.
A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy man keeps a secret.” Proverbs 11:13

Mentor and mentee friendships … there is always someone further ahead of us and always someone coming up behind us. These friends can help us see around corners, and we can help our younger sisters in the Lord feel more confident about stepping into the future.

Season of life friends … sometimes God brings people into our lives for a season. We might share a common sorrow or our kids are the same age or we have gone through similar experiences and can show support. God knows what we need in all seasons of our life.

It’s important to look around at who you spend your time with. Some relationships are toxic and draining, one sided, or forced and uncomfortable. We mustn’t allow ourselves to be overwhelmed or overshadowed by toxic relationships. Untangle yourself from these, or put up healthy boundaries. Protect your state of mind, your sense of well being from others who take more than they give.

Who we spend much time with does make a difference in who we become. Invest in friendships and relationships wisely. Take another look at your friends … who is influencing who in your relationships? Do you want to be like those you spend the most time with?

He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm.” Proverbs 13:20

For those reading from somewhere else:
Visit How’s That Workin’ for Ya? today!

Published by Candy Troutman

I offer services in the areas of public speaking, personal finance coaching, social media management, content creation/copywriting, personal & faith-based mentoring & small business coaching.

15 thoughts on “We Are Who We Hang With

  1. Words of wisdom my friend! I’m sure we call all relate!

    There have been a few in my life that have influenced my faith (beginning with my precious Grandma who is with the Lord since 1990); along the journey and I’m prayerful there will be more. I hope in some small way I’ve influenced people in their journey as well.

    Hugs and blessings!


    1. Hello Lisa ~ So nice to hear from you! We live our legacy every day, don’t we? Today is so important for tomorrow, whether we’re being influenced by others or we’re influencing others. Blessings on your ministry!



  2. What a wonderful contemplation… thinking about those special people who’ve influenced the way I “do” life. My goodness, I could be thinking all day.

    It’s interesting… since moving here I’ve struggled to “fit” with others. Those in my “real world” face-to-face life have made it a bit difficult for me to get to know them. I find that my main connections are those who live further out–contacts from former church, family, blogging friends, etc. I imagine that I’ll be making new friends in the days to come… perhaps ones I never would have known if not for my cancer. I want to make my heart available to those new relationships.

    I have, however, connected with a special trio–affectionately named by me as “the sisters.” It’s too long to go into in an e-mail, but as soon as I can get their picture, it will be a blog post. I imagine they have something to add to my way of “doing life” in this season.

    Thanks for stopping by today and leaving such a kind comment. You’re a “Barnabas” sweet sister; I feel less alone because of people like you.

    Blessed Sabbath rest to you and yours.



    1. Elaine ~ Thanking the Lord for your network of support no matter where it comes from. I know you’re already influencing your new caregivers for Jesus. Looking foward to your post about your sister trio! Love you, friend.



  3. Happened to catch this just now, so glad I took the time to read it. Your memories stirred up a lot of my own similar experiences… it is so true that we take on things from those around us. I have had to make some choices to ditch some toxic relationships as I’ve gotten older and have realized the value in hanging with those I want to emulate… thanks for the enablement of that line of thinking in my life. I have always struggled with guilt over these bad relational situations, but I am learning to just let them go.


    1. We get so comfortable in our feeling troubled about a relationship we often don’t recognize anymore that we’re troubled. We live as though familiar is better than change. I’m grateful that the Lord keeps troubling the waters so we can keep moving forward toward joy. Thanks for stopping by, my friend, Renee.



  4. How inspiring, my beautiful daughter. God has given you such a magnificent writing talent, as well as speaking, singing, organizing, etc., etc. We can see into your heart when you write and it’s very special when you write about family. God bless you as you work on your finances.

    Love, mOm


  5. Thank you!!! I was so frustrated today because I am tired of having friends for seasons at a time. When I was contemplating my frustrations, I thought…let’s check Candy’s blog to see if there is something uplifting. And guess, what??!?!??! This is just what I needed to hear. Thank you so much!! Thanks for posting and through your words, allowing God to answer a heart felt plea.


    1. Hi Dalelyn ~ I can’t tell you how I loved reading your comment today. I often “suffer” with what to write about next. Usually I write about things I’ve observed and have an opinion about. LOL! I started this post weeks ago and couldn’t seem to finish it. But I needed to post because I hadn’t posted for so long, so thought I’d try to finish it. It came to me quickly this time, usually a sign that I’m on the right track. My prayer is always that God inspires each post and they will be used for the encouragement of the hurried, harried women who may come in contact with my blog. I am always thrilled when God allows me a little glimpse into what He had planned! I have added you to my newsletter list, if you don’t mind. And I’ve attached the one I just sent out. lovingly,

      Candy Troutman Inspirational Speaker 1338 N. Jullion Ave., Boise, Idaho 208.850.2453 Blog: http://www.candytroutman.wordpress.com You-Tube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cCGFsN9jIqs Catch me on Facebook! Facebook Page: Candy Troutman-J.O.Y.! J esus O ffers Y ou … J.O.Y.!


  6. Sweet sister, this is such a lovely post….and I had to laugh, because my mama makes fun of the way I take such pains to make sure every little bit of my toast, etc is buttered/mayo-ed right to the very edge. :o)

    Much love!


    1. Hello sweet sister! So wonderful to hear from you! Oh, I couldn’t agree more that the filling must entirely FILL the sandwich. Otherwise, what’s the point? Love you!

      Candy Troutman Inspirational Speaker 1338 N. Jullion Ave., Boise, Idaho 208.850.2453 Blog: http://www.candytroutman.wordpress.com You-Tube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cCGFsN9jIqs Catch me on Facebook! Facebook Page: Candy Troutman-J.O.Y.! J esus O ffers Y ou … J.O.Y.!


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