Girl Talk Series…It’s All in Your Head (1)

Candy Blogs: I care deeply about the spiritual journey of women in America. So much depends on the (spiritual and otherwise) health and success of women…marriages, families, friendships, businesses, communities, nations. I make it a point to listen to the conversations of women. I want to hear your struggles and questions and successes and victories. Thus this little Girltalk series. I love girltalk. It’s my favorite hobby.

I believe the answer to most of the things us women struggle with, stir up drama over, spend exorbitant amounts of money on and spend entirely too much time pursuing are all in our head. We can’t seem to make it through a day without comparing ourselves to something or someone. We have allowed our culture to determine our value. Christian women haven’t escaped this trap. We have a “Christian culture”, too.

In a bad mood today? It’s all in your head.
♥ “If mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.”
♥ “The hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world.”
~William Ross Wallace
♥ “Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day”
~Judith Viorst

These quotes and titles paint a picture, don’t they? They’re just a taste of what could be written here to remind us that our mood affects everyone around us. And the moods of those people affect everyone around them after they leave your presence. The ripples keep flowing outward. Indeed YOU DO affect an entire community.

Will we always be in a good mood? Of course not. But more often than not, we have a choice about our moods. A bad mood is usually brought on by not getting our way or feeling sorry for ourselves. Our mood matters. It affects decisions we make, activities we choose, our productivity, money we spend and the quality of our relationships. Step back for a bigger perspective. Most of the time the drama is over small, insignificant things that won't matter tomorrow. Not worth our energy.

Not feeling sexy or attractive today? It’s all in your head.

I have read some Christian blogs which downplay, even disdain, the enjoyment of married sexual intimacy and the pursuit of physical beauty. Sad, isn’t it? God created both things. Married sexual intimacy was created for our enjoyment and delight, as well as procreation. Beauty is one of God’s greatest gifts to humanity. It comes in many forms, only one of which is the beauty of the human form. I still enjoy my husband’s admiring looks and I still cast admiring looks upon his snappily dressed frame. Satan, via our culture, has twisted the things of God into something vile and repulsive. But this doesn’t mean the gifts don’t still contain God’s original intentions.

If we can learn to accept our bodies and souls the way God created them and see our unique beauty as it was intended, the pull of comparison lessens and we can be free to feel beautiful and desired. A sexy wife must BELIEVE she is sexy. Believe your husband when he tells you he thinks you’re beautiful and desirable. Only when you believe you are desired can you fully give yourself to your husband. Withholding ourselves because we don’t feel beautiful is not attractive to our husbands. A playful, eager wife is always attractive! Woo hoo!

And remember that as the years steal our physical beauty, the beauty in the heart of a lifelong companion only grows. This is why we can’t place too much value on the physical; it is temporary. Our intimacy must be strong enough to encompass all levels of relationship (physical, emotional, mental and spiritual) so as the physical bond lessens and eventually ends, there is still plenty of beauty left to enjoy.

“Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be
praised.” Proverbs 31:30

But make the very best of what you have, for goodness sake! Frumpy does not equal godliness any more than Fashionable equals worldliness.

Thanks for the chat, girlfriends! More later …