Candy blogs: In finally gathering all my writings from all over the house and all over my computer into one place, I stumbled upon this bit of journaling from 1997. It was another milestone, a monument in my spiritual journey, that I can now look back on to celebrate a new direction. My God never changes. How He works and speaks can change, but HE never does.
A testimony of God’s direction from 1997 …
Monday, February 17
I had been on several job interviews and I wasn’t at peace with any of them. A friend’s name came to my mind so I called her to see if they were still going to be hiring someone full time. She said yes!
Tuesday, February 18
In my devotions I read about the story of how the children of Israel came right up the Promised Land, grumbled and complained, disobeyed God and God told them they would not be allowed to enter. He killed many of them in judgment. Then, of course, the people believed God and said they WANTED to go in after all. They actually started to go but Moses said, “Do not go up! The Lord is not with you. You will be defeated . . .”
I was devastated because I felt that the Lord had really given me this verse and that it applied to taking this job. I tried to think of every reason that He wouldn’t want me to take it. I tried to rationalize that it didn’t apply to this job but to another issue Scott and I had been considering. I tried to go this way and that way but I couldn’t get away from the fact that God had given me this verse. I told the Lord I would continue to pray.
Wednesday, February 19
In my devotions I read the story of the budding of Aaron’s rod. The Levites had risen up against Aaron as the only chosen high priest. They didn’t think he should be singled out, that there were other holy men in the tribe of Levi. The Lord told Moses to have representatives from each of the tribes take a rod and write their names on it. Moses was to put all the rods in the Tabernacle overnight and in the morning, whichever rod had budded was God’s chosen high priest. The next morning, Aaron’s rod had not only budded (it didn’t just have a little bud on it!), it blossomed, it had leaves, it had ALMONDS on it!! I wasn’t sure what the message was here until I went to prayer (on the treadmill!). I felt very sure that God was telling me not to take the job because when the right opportunity came, there would be no doubt at all that God was directing me.
Scott and met with my friends for lunch and an interview. I was prepared to listen to their presentation but really felt that I would just be telling them I couldn’t accept the position. What they offered was much more than I ever expected in every way. I wanted to accept the job. The only thing that really bothered me was a 90 day wait on the health insurance. I knew that our son, Adam, was going on tour to San Francisco in April and I didn’t feel it would be responsible to send him off without health insurance. So I was very troubled again. Scott felt very comfortable with the position also except for the insurance question.
Thursday, February 20
In my devotions I received no word from the Lord! I went into my devotions expectantly, wanting to hear from Him because I so wanted to accept the job. I spent the day investigating the health insurance question. Scott’s insurance and Red Cross’ COBRA monthly amounts were the same – $378 per month. We knew we couldn’t afford that for three months. I struggled all day. I kept hearing the Lord say, ” I AM talking to you, Candy! You’re not listening!” I kept going back to the concept of the Experiencing God class where the four areas are to line up to determine God’s will. The circumstances and the Body seemed to be lining up but I wasn’t lining up in Scripture and in prayer. I struggled! I went to lunch with a friend. She said she thought I’d better be obedient since things weren’t lining up. Scott said only I could make the decision.
I was to have told my friends this day what my answer was. I was to have given notice to my current employer this day. I couldn’t! I didn’t! That evening Scott told me to call my friend and tell her my concerns. I really didn’t see what should could do about it – it was the policy of the insurance company. But I called her. She said she was going to call the insurance company and see if anything could be done. She also said that she might consider holding the position open until after Adam’s trip. I didn’t think that was realistic.
Friday, February 21
In my devotions I read the story of Balaam and his talking donkey. The children of Israel were moving through the Promised Land and came up to Moab. The king of Moab was afraid that they would overtake Moab so he sent word to Balaam, a diviner, to come and put a curse on Israel. Balaam told the messengers that he would have to consult with God to see what he should do. God told him that he was not to go with these men, and that the Israelites were blessed. The Moabite king sent more important messengers to again ask him to come and curse Israel. Balaam consulted God. This time God told him he should go with the men but that he should only say what He wanted him to say.
I wondered what the message for me was. In prayer (on the treadmill) I felt my message was that at first God had told me “not to go with these men,” not to take the job. Then that I could go ahead and take the job if certain conditions were met, namely the insurance problem. I felt the Lord’s presence so strongly during prayer this day! I knew I had been obedient and that I could move forward in this direction knowing I was in His will.
Later in the morning, my friend called. She said she was still waiting to hear from the insurance company but that she had decided that she would definitely hold the position open until after Adam’s trip if we couldn’t work out the insurance. I couldn’t believe it! Then a few minutes later she called with news from the insurance company. They said that since I was already with Blue Cross that I could simply transfer my insurance with no lapse! We were both flabbergasted by this news! The thought came to me, “Now THERE’S some ALMONDS!!”
I shared this story with my friend and she said it made her want to know God more so He would talk to her like that, too! I gave my notice to my employer this day. I am moving forward. Praise His name!
Reading this testimony from my past about how God carefully moved me where He was working reminded me that the God who directed me in the past will most certainly direct me in the present and future. My life is still in His loving hands. He can be trusted when He says to be still or move forward. This greatly encouraged my heart today. I hope it encourages yours.
22 Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.
23 They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
24 I say to myself, “The LORD is my portion;
therefore I will wait for him.”